The other night, my friends and I, in a desperate attempt to do something remotely fun in our extremely boring town, went to a park after hours. I know, nothing scandalous, but where I live, this can be a big deal. If the cops come, you can a good scolding. So, as we laid in the middle of a soccer field with Snuggies*, glancing up nervously, ready to bolt with every car that drove by, just in case the po-po we on to us, we had a deep conversation. We just stared at the few stars we could see, (thanks damn light pollution,) and spoke freely. During these moments what we say seems to just glide out, without control, as if secrets were balloons in a child's hand on a windy day, in the blink of an eye, they'll be floating into the sky without hesitation, and before you realize that they've been let go, it's too late to get them back.
So, what was my balloon? Well, one of them, that I am willing to share with you, Internet World, is that I often I envy others. Maybe, envy isn't quite right, I want to be other people. It's not my own insecurities that over-shadow my positive qualities; it's not a self-esteem thing. I love how people have just these special qualities that make so unique. Okay, after I wrote that I realized how cliché that sounded, but seriously. People are so different, no matter how similar they seem, despite the similarities in how their raised or their socio-economical status, or even in their clique. People are never the same. How they deal with things, how they express emotions, what they find relaxing, among thousands of other things. It's cool. So, sometimes I wish I could experience how other people live.
But, I would really love to lead the life of a character. I'll see a TV show or a movie, and I just melt. I put myself their shoes. From any character in Sex & The City, (I mean, who wouldn't want hot sex with gorgeous guys and the most beautiful shoes in the world?) to Sandy Bullock's character in The Blind Side. I know she was a real person, but come on, Sandy played her beautifully! And I know you may be wondering why I am calling her Sandy, well in interviews, all of Bullock's coworkers and friends, call her Sandy. I have always imagined that if I ever met her, we would become very best friends, hence calling her Sandy. Anyways, I put myself in these character's shoes and I just imagine what my life would be like. If I got to be the one that "Choose me. Pick me. Love me." to McDreamy. Or if I could have been telling a group of men full of testosterone and pent up sexual tension that the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club. How cool would that be? I mean, it would be really cool. Like really cool!
*Yes, I own Snuggies, but they were gifts! I did not buy them for myself, let me make myself clear!
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